Out of the Heart

The luggage had all been checked and there was nothing more to do but wait.  Backpacks were thrown under seats and against support pillars.  Some of the kids sat talking in hushed voices, while others were sprawled out on chairs or the floor recovering a few minutes of the sleep that had escaped them while on their trip.  Sitting placidly close to the airline counter, Pastor Kevin, or PK as the kids had taken to calling him, mulled over the last two weeks, satisfied at the outcomes that had taken place, not only with the work they had accomplished during their time at the Mexico mission, but also changes he had seen in the kids’ lives.   From out of nowhere, a nervous feeling began to surface within him, awakening him from his near unconscious thoughts.  His heart began to pound.    

              A petite Mexican woman stepped up to the counter and spoke into the microphone.  “A-Mex Air Flight C320 has landed.  We will be boarding once the plane has been refueled and cleaned,” she spoke in Spanish, then repeated the message in broken English.  Some of the kids gathered at the window to watch passengers exit down the plane’s staircase and the luggage be unloaded from its belly.  Kevin joined them.  Looking at the plane, the apprehension grew.  “Why do I feel so uncomfortable?” he thought to himself, now feeling like his heart would soon take flight.

He tried to shrug off this ever-increasing sense of doom that now loomed just below the surface.  Was he just anxious because of the responsibility he carried?  He had never taken 16 youth abroad by himself before and it was his job to see that these kids were returned safely back to their families.  He thought of each one.  He thought of their parents, the other siblings he new so well, and the Senior Pastor to whom he will give his report of their trip.  Anxiety tore into his gut like gunfire as he looked at the silver aluminum tube they were about to board.

              He had gone on many mission trips before.  Yet, he never experienced such uneasiness.  “Perhaps it is just the excitement of it all,” he thought.  “I probably would have felt nervous like this when we left, if I had let myself think about it”.  He remembered the ride to the airport and the eagerness everyone had felt then.  The faces of the family members who had come to see them off flashed before his mind like a lingering light fading from a scene. 

“Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen, we are now ready to board flight C320, bound for Dallas, TX,” the flight attendant announced.  “At this time, we will board those in first class, as well as anyone who needs additional help and those with small children.”  PK paced around the overcrowded waiting area, feeling like an animal being herded to the slaughter.  His heart felt like it would pound out of his chest. 

This is no ordinary nervousness, he decided.  He was being warned.  In his attempt to understand, he asked God privately under his breath.  “Is there something you are trying to tell me?” he whispered.  The reply was unmistakable, “This plane is not safe.”  What was he to do?  Should he keep the kids from boarding?  How would he explain to everyone back home his decision to pull them off their flight?  “We are now boarding all passengers,” the flight attendant announced. 

The youth filed into line to exit down the stairs of the small airport.  PK gathered the kids around him for one last exhortation.  “Guys, getting on an airplane is a good time to realize none of us are guaranteed to have another day on this earth.  If you were to die today, do you know you’d go to heaven?”  He went on, “You know that Jesus went to the cross to take upon himself your shortcomings.  So, I’m asking you, are you trusting in the saving work of Jesus or are you trusting in your own ability?  God loves you all so much that he came to die for you.  It is His life in you that is your hope of being saved.  If there is anything you’ve done that isn’t right, ask God to forgive you.  Then ask Him to come into your life and turn you life over to Him, if you haven’t done so already.”  He continued, “I love you guys, and am so proud of all your hard work.  I feel especially blessed to have been able to watch how each of you have grown personally, and in your relationships to each other and with God.”  “So,” he concluded, “take a few minutes once you’re on board the plane and talk to God, as we prepare to head out into our everyday, busy lives.”

              As he settled into his seat towards the front of the aircraft, his heart began to race.  The jets fired up; the door to the plane was shut.  Kevin had to restrain a sudden urge to stand up and yell to the kids, “GET OFF THIS PLANE!”  The plane began to slowly move backwards as it was pushed away from the tarmac.  All he could do was pray.  He bowed his head and prayed as hard as he knew how, pleading with God to spare their lives.  After they had taxied onto the runway, the pilot’s voice came over the intercom, “We have been cleared for takeoff.  Stewardesses, please take your seats.”                   PK’s heart was ready to explode.  As the plane gained speed, and about to lift off into the air, an eerie deflation of power was felt, pushing the passengers forward and pressing them into their seat belts.  As the aircraft slowed down, the pilot came back on the intercom, “Ladies and Gentlemen, I have aborted takeoff due to a ‘malfunction engine light’ that came on just as we were about to be airborne.  I am sorry for any inconvenience this may cause some of you who are expecting to connect with other flights in Dallas.  We will see that the problem is fixed and be in the air as soon as possible.”  The plane taxied back to the gate.  Pastor Kevin lowered his head into his hands and breathed a relieved thank you to his H